Having made a full recovery from yesterday’s illness, Louis went merrily back to school today.
I, however, have clearly had a visit from the Pixies of Poor Health during the night who seem to have shoved sand paper down my throat and played the drums in my head! To summarise; I feel ill!
I am certain that my feeling ill is largely responsible for the fact that I also feel very down in the dumps today.
I often measure my days and life in general by a feeling of winning or losing. Today is a losing day.
Not only do I feel unwell and therefore very sorry for myself but my mail this morning seems to have consisted only of (large) bills. Having checked my bank account, I seem to be haemorrhaging money so fast that if it were blood I would certainly need an emergency transfusion. Unfortunately there is no such solution when it comes to financial bleeding. I remind myself constantly that there are people far worse off than Louis and I, but today, it does little in making me feel better.
Today I am lonely.
Today I feel sad.
Today I want a cuddle.
What do you do when you want to get off the ever turning roundabout that is life? Nothing, I suppose!
Having felt like this many times before in my career as a single Mother, I do at least have the comfort that this feeling is just temporary and that with a good night’s sleep probably aided by a large G and T, I will likely feel more positive about things tomorrow. It’s just that today, even the idea of feeling better tomorrow seems like it will require way more effort than I am willing to give.
Maybe I could take a sick day from life? Ha, if only!
Ps. If I sound like an alcoholic depressive, this is certainly not the case (at least, not every day!)
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